Are signs of disliked actually proof of your affection? The true feelings of the person you want to notice

1. Are you disliked? Or is it liked?

A habit of thinking that is easily misunderstood as being disliked

　Feeling "disliked" is often caused by a habit of thinking. For example, people who tend to interpret other people's attitudes negatively may assume that behaviors and expressions that are not actually the case are dislike for themselves. In particular, actions such as "who talks to me and doesn't respond immediately" or "who doesn't look at my eyes" are often busy or simply hides embarrassment.

Characteristics of people who are easily misunderstood

　The reason why people are likely to misunderstand that "I thought I was disliked, but I liked you!" is because their impression of the other person is often influenced by their own assumptions. These people often lack confidence and end up reading the other person's casual words and actions in depth. Also, people who are not good at communicating their feelings and intentions to others often misread the other person's true feelings. People with poor communication skills, lack of words, or poor expression of emotions may take their affection as they may be perceived as disliked even though they are favored.

What is the psychology behind ambiguous attitudes?

　When the other person acts vague, it is easy to think that they are disliked. However, behind such ambiguous attitudes there is actually a hidden affection. Men in particular are often shy or not good at expressing their feelings honestly, so at first glance, their seemingly cold attitude and silent attitude are often the opposite of "loving." Also, they may feel embarrassed to realize their feelings and may dare to keep their distance. If you link these attitudes to dislike, you may end up overlooking the other person's true feelings.

Examples of misunderstandings in friendship and love

　In friendship or love, it is common for people to think that they are "disliked," and end up acting irreparable. For example, when I was in elementary school, I was teased by a certain boy and felt that he was "disliked," but in fact, that was a sign that he "loves him" is a typical example. Similarly, in adult relationships, it is often easy to think that cold responses and less frequent contact are a lack of favor. However, these may simply be due to the other person's shy personality or busyness. The important thing is to not only focus on the other person's actions, but to read the psychology behind it.

2. Signs of affection that seem disliked

Why avoid communication

　When it appears that the other person avoids communicating with them, many people tend to think, "Is it disliked?" However, this is not necessarily due to negative emotions. Especially due to the shy personality and tension that men often have, they can sometimes deliberately distance themselves from the person they like. There are many occasions where they are surprised, saying, "I thought they hated me, but they liked me!" As a result of the other person becoming so conscious that they cannot remain natural, they can see them refraining from communicating.

Is not making eye contact or being silent is the opposite of your affection?

　An attitude of not making eye contact or becoming silent is also a behavior that is often mistaken for negative emotions. However, this can also be an inverse turn of favor. Because they have a crush on you, the psychology behind not wanting the other person to dislike you or wanting to be exposed is what causes them to look away from embarrassment and refrain from talking. Especially if your self-esteem is low, you may take a passive action, saying, "I'll keep my distance rather than be disliked." This attitude tends to hide the other person's affection.

The hidden feelings of being denied and not invited

　When you are not invited or rejected, you may end up thinking, "Maybe you're not interested in me," but in fact, there may be hidden affection hidden there as well. Some men feel extremely nervous about spending time with the person they like and are unable to act well. If the invitation has not worked out in the past or you are not confident in yourself, it can sometimes be seen as an action that involves keeping your distance by thinking, "If you don't do well, you might be disliked."

How to show clumsy affection

　It is common for people to express their affection but don't know how to convey it, and they often show up in a clumsy way. For example, many people have probably seen boys deliberately act mean to the opposite sex they like when they were in elementary school. This is a typical example of how the opposite behavior occurs because the skill of expressing your feelings is immature. Many people still experience this awkwardness even as adults, and sometimes act coldly or misleading towards the person they like. Even if the other person's actions seem disliked at first glance, it is important to carefully explore the hidden intention behind them.

3. How to determine whether it's good or disliked

Tips for objectively observing the other person's attitude

　To avoid the experience of "I thought I was disliked, but I liked you!", it is important to calmly observe the other person's attitude, rather than making emotional judgments. Sometimes misunderstanding can occur when you over-accept the other person's words and actions as directed towards you. Even when the other person feels cold, if their attitude is similar to others, it may not be a dislike directed towards you personally. Men often have a particularly shy side to them, and they may actually act coldly towards someone they like.

How to tell if there is no chance

　To prevent misunderstandings, it is effective to observe the other person's actions and words as key points. For example, deliberately not making eye contact or becoming cold at the moment a conversation is interrupted can actually come from shyness or embarrassment. Also, even if you are rejected for an invitation, it may be because of busyness or timing, and it may not mean that you are disliked. The important thing is to look at the overall pattern rather than judge based on each action alone. It is often caused by a simple misunderstanding that people feel "I thought they were disliked, but they liked me!"

Communication to resolve misunderstandings

　The key is how you respond to the other person's attitude, but the best way to do this is to communicate frankly. By having an attitude of listening to the other person's feelings without rushing, it will be easier for the other person to speak their true feelings with peace of mind. Especially when it comes to shy men, try not to rush and gradually draw them into the conversation. Also, being honest about how your attitude looks like this makes me feel a little worried" can help prevent misunderstandings. It is hoped that we will try to remove unconscious bias and build more open relationships.

The importance of reviewing self-assessment

　The reason why people constantly feel that they are disliked is often due to their low self-esteem. If you are not confident, you are more likely to view all of the other person's actions negatively. First, try to rethink what value you are bringing to others. Doing so will reduce the number of people interpreting casual behaviors that are excessively negative, and will help you reduce the chances of later realizing, "I thought I was disliked, but I was liked!"

4. How to get the other person's true feelings while preventing misunderstandings

Be prepared to face the other person honestly

　In order to bring out the other person's true feelings, it is important to first face them with an honest attitude. Just as there are cases where people say, "I thought I was disliked, but I liked you!", it is easy to misunderstand if you take the other person's attitude superficially. As a mindset, don't be too tied to your own emotions or preconceptions, and should be flexible in accepting the hidden intentions and feelings behind the other person's actions. Also, if you have a low self-esteem, you may think that you are "disliked" more than necessary. For this reason, it is also important to understand objectively what kind of impression you are giving to others.

Question techniques that respect the other person's position

　The way you ask questions can also have a big impact on facing the other person seriously. Ideally, it is important to communicate in soft language while respecting the other person's position and emotions. If you ask questions unilaterally or rush to answer, the other person may be able to close their minds. Using open questions like "How have you been feeling lately?" and "What do you think about this?" will naturally develop your conversation and make it easier to bring out the other person's true feelings. This approach can help you gradually become more clear about your feelings towards yourself, even if the other person is a shy man.

Creating an environment where other people can open up to each other

　In order to bring out the other person's true feelings, it is also important to create a relaxing environment. By speaking in a quiet place or in an environment where the other person is safe, your conversation will naturally become smoother. For example, just dividing things related to the other person's favorite topic or hobbies will make it easier for them to get into conversation. Another key is to respect the pace at which the other person can easily talk to. By being aware of this kind of environment, we can close the sense of distance that arises from the misunderstanding that "I thought I was disliked, but I was liked!" and deepen our understanding of each other.

5. Specific actions to improve your relationship with others

Not only language but nonverbal communication is important

　To deepen your relationships with others, it is important to pay attention to nonverbal communication as well as language. For example, nodding your head when listening to someone and showing a natural smile will give them a sense of security. Additionally, casual gestures such as gaze and body orientation can convey your feelings more than words. In particular, in situations where you think you're hated me, but you're liked me!', the other person may be showing affection with a clumsy attitude, and by honing your sensibility to notice this, it is easier to resolve misunderstandings.

Observation ability to notice small signs from others

　Signs emitted by people are not always easy to understand. For example, becoming less prone to eye contact and avoiding communication does not necessarily mean disgust. In fact, many people take this behavior out of lack of confidence or embarrassment. What's important here is your observational ability to notice small signs from others. For example, if you respond to LINE messages slowly but politely, or you are actively trying to spread the topic in other conversations, it may be that you are actually more inclined to like them. By looking at the "characteristics of people who tend to misunderstand" and accurately understanding the other person's psychology, you will have an opportunity to improve your relationship.

What to do if a misunderstanding arises

　When misunderstandings arise, it is essential to stay calm first. It is important to objectively look back at the other person's words and actions and take the perspective that "it may be that you are just thinking about it." From there, direct communication and confirmation is also a quick way to resolve the issue. For example, you can sometimes clear up your misunderstanding by asking honestly, "I feel like it's cold lately, has something happened?" Also, if the other person misrepresents a favor rather than aversion, this confirmation can quickly turn the relationship into a positive direction.

Why the relationship will deepen if the misunderstanding is resolved

　The reason why relationships deepen when misunderstandings are resolved is that you can face each other honestly and increase your trust. Even if there is a misunderstanding at first, the experience of overcoming it makes the bond stronger between the two of them. In particular, in cases like, "I thought I was disliked, but I liked you!", the moment you understand the other person's true feelings, it becomes easier to express your honest feelings. This will help the other person to open up even more, and the relationship will deepen dramatically. To accumulate this process, it is important to have a fundamental attitude towards others.

Shokey Hayashi

Exorcist/Radionics Technique Researcher

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Born in Aomori Prefecture in 1965, he has been suffering from troubles, illnesses and injuries caused by spiritual phenomena since childhood. However, one day, when he was 20 years old, he attended an event, had a mysterious experience at the venue, and was hit by lightning energy from the heavens, as if piercing the spinal cord from his brain, and his psychic abilities blossomed. He then began studying psychology and psychiatry, and now he has combined psychiatry and consciousness engineering. Established "Radionics exorcism" using our own radionics techniques. "It's possible to treat your fortune" beyond exorcism, memorial service, and healing.